The end of the journey

So, apologies to anyone who has been waiting for months for me to tell the end of my egg donation journey.  As soon as the process was over I had to focus on my essay and my portfolio - both of which seemed to take forever and have taken far, far longer to recover from than the egg donation!!

In my last post I was hoping that the next scan was to be my final one but it wasn't.  My eggs took a little longer to grow than usual which just meant that I was injecting for something like 14 days instead of 10.  I think this part was the most frustrating - this is far more down to me liking a plan rather than anything else (also I was using this time to procrastinate on my essay!). 

So the day came for me to go to Guys and give them my eggs (it seemed quite apropriate that this was happening around Easter time too).  My dad was amazing and came with me despite having quite a poorly leg only a few days before.  He was incredibly calming and it was lovely to spend that time with him.  When we arrived at Guys we only had a short wait before we could go through to the ward.   When I got on to the ward I got the most beautiful flowers and the sweetest card from the couple.  From the window of the ward we could see loads of London so dad distracted me by pointing out all the highlights.  Then came time to go for the process!

I was so nervous but the medical staff were fab!  It was strange as I walked in to the theatre which just looked like a doctors room - I think I was expecting lots of stainless steel but it was quite laid back.  Then they tried to put the canular in the back of my hand.  For most people this is a simple process but for some reason my hands don't like it and I forget that each time.  A lovely Australian nurse held my hand and teased me when I made girly squeaks!  The canular had to go inside my elbow and that bit was fine.  I thought that after jabbing myself a couple of times a day that the canular bit would be fine but I'm such a big girls blouse!  When they put the sedation in I thought it's going to take me ages to fall asleep - I'm not sleepy at all.  Literally the next thing I remember is waking up. 

The whole thing lasted less than an hour and seemed really simple. I felt a bit woozy when I came round but that only lasted about half an hour and by the time I had a couple of cups of tea and biscuits I felt fine.  My sister came to pick us up and take us back to my parents house.  That day I chilled and ate and went to bed really early (same time as the girls).  The next day I had some cramping and was careful not to pick up the girls so it was really useful being with mum and dad to look after them.  A couple of weeks later I had a really heavy period and my next period was a week or two later than it should have been but that makes sense if my body still had all those hormones running about it.

They managed to collect 10 eggs of which 2 were used within a week or two and I think 3 or 4 were frozen.

It has been really nice writing this post and remembering what a positive experience it was.  It is something I am so pleased I did as I met some really lovely people and have found the whole thing fascinating and rewarding.

So there is the end of the journey.  Sorry it took me so long to tell you.  I will hopefully e blogging a bit more again now (at least until I need to write my next essay)

Still scanning

So last time I posted I think I'd had two scans.  Since then I've had another two and a third one tomorrow (hopefully the final one).  My folicles are growing a little slower than is usual (but I seem to have quite a few of them).  This means the whole process has taken a few days longer than I expected but luckily I'm on holiday and my family are quite flexible and so supportive.  Hopefully egg collection day will be at the end of the week.  Also at my last scan they showed me my folicles on the screen - so fascinating!  They look rather similar to this:-











Since the begining of the weekend my tumy has felt quite bloated and a little tend at times.  A couple of days later it started to be quite painful when I gave myself the injections.  As I am a bear of very little brain I assumed these were connected!  The lovely nurse put me right though - The bloating does not affect how the injections feel.  However, as I was a bit hormonal and quite frankly a little 'over' jabbing myself in the tummy and therefore they were hurting!!  Weirdly since then they haven't hurt again (apart from when the cat made me jump mid jab!).  I think for a couple of days I lost track of what I was doing and since reminding myself of this it has become easier again. 

Anyway - I'm very aware that this isn't the most fluently written post as I am sleepy tired!  Just wanted to get it down in writing.  Will let you know how it progressses.

Sweet dreams

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Scanning

So I had the baseline scan Monday before last and a week later after starting the injections I had a second scan a week later.  My folicles are not growing as quickly as normal so they have doubled my dose of Gonal F.  I then had a third scan today which again showed that I have a good amount of folicles but they are still not big enough at the moment.  This means that I will probably go in for the final procedure after the Easter weekend.  Fingers crossed they grow a little more quickly. 

I have to say that the hormones have taken me a little by surprise and I have been a bit grumpy the last couple of days - nothing acup of tea and piece of cake won't solve I'm sure!!

Sweet dreams

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

It's all happening so quickly!

I have not blogged (or socialised, or read a good book, etc) for ages!  It has been a manic few months with essays and portfolios coming out of my ears.  So I hibernated a little!  I feel the worst is over and I can start doing fun stuff again and I have news.

I will be donating my eggs any day now!!

After a long wait and a couple of postponed attempts I am now giving myself daily injections (for a girl who has never been able to have injections done or blood taken at the doctors without taking a husband/parent/sister along this is MASSIVE and I am so proud of myself for not passing out!
SO ... here is the process so far - it may get a bit squeamish and you may learn far too much about my hormones but here goes:-
I came off the pill on the Wednesday (a day earlier than would probably be normal as my bleed takes a few days to start) and then I booked my first scan for the Monday.
Monday morning arrived ... but my bleed didn't ... cue panicked text to  my lovely Altrui lady! (What do I do - I know it's coming cos of the pain but it's not here - aaarrrgghh!) to which I got a lovely reply telling me not to panic and just to move the scan on a couple of days (There is a time limit - the first scan needs to be between days 1 - 3 of your bleed to get a baseline assessment)
So two days later I went for my scan.  This is an internal scan (think smear test with ultra sound - while on your period - very strange but everyone is so nice and matter of fact that it is far less squeamish than it sounds).

So that night I started the first of the injections to make my ovaries grow more eggs (Gonal F).  I tried to be brave and do it on my own - I really did.  I sat down on my desk chair (next to the bed so I would have a soft landing if I passed out!) and got everything ready.  Then I looked at the needle, put it to my tummy and tried to inject myself, chickened out, looked at the needle and tried again.  This went on for quite a while!  Finally I called my lovely husand who came and sat next to me and then I finally did it!  Of course it was fine - it didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would (- but I still won't do one without him next to me).

This I started the second injection which stops the eggs from releasing (or something similar).  That one is a bit more complicated as I have to inject liquid in to a tiny bottle with powder and then dissolve it and fill the needle with it again before injecting it.  I did wait til the kids had gone out with their grandparents to ensure quiet though.  This injection made my tummy a bit itchy around the injection site - a bit like a nettle sting but this died down fairly quickly.  To be honest the scariest thing is that I might forget or do something wrong - but i'm sure it will be fine.

The other advice I was given was to keep well hydrated - sensible advice on any day but ultra important now.

My next scan is on Monday and I should be going in for the actual procedure in a week or so!

Happy Days

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Happy New Year

I’m a bit superstitious about New Year.  I like to have everything tidy and organised, but it doesn’t often happen.  This year I managed to get quite a bit tidied and organised but didn’t manage to get my essay finished or store away the outgrown kid’s clothes or get the girls room organised or get my hair cut or my eye brows shaped.  But I’m not worried – I’m being very calm about it all.

 … except for the essay … and felling like a hairy monkey … and the girls room … …

DAMN!! – I tried so hard!  If I keep telling myself I am calm will that make me calm eventually?  And at least I can turn some of these tasks in to New Year’s resolutions!

Taking stock of 2011

 I took a few minutes today to think about all the stuff that’s happened this year which makes me proud or grateful.

-          The baby Fairy Princess is over a year old now and doing all the cute, beautiful and funny things a toddler her age should be (I hope!).  She’s walking really confidently and often nods knowingly at us.  She loves ‘posting’ things, passing us her toys or socks and sitting in buckets/ boxes/ laundry baskets/ very small corners.  She chatters a lot and hums and best of all gives the cutest smiles and snuggles.  

-          The eldest Fairy Princess has started school and is sooo grown up.  She is doing really well with her numbers and reading.  She is very good at riding her bike and can finally skip properly.  She is a great big sister and she is just so funny!

-          My husband and I celebrated our 6^th wedding anniversary this year.  Not a hugely long time I know but I really appreciate how fab he is (although I don’t often tell him- I don’t want him to get big headed).  He has been so supportive this year especially of my studying now and also earlier in the year when I had PND and was acting like the wife from hell.  So a massive thank you to him for being so great!

-          The rest of my family are pretty amazing and supportive too.  Always there when I need them and good fun too!

-          I converted to Buddhism

-          I got a great grade on my first assignment of my masters

-          I still enjoy my job

-          Finally I have started on the egg donation journey that I had no idea about this time last year!

So all in all I have had a lot to get excited about over the last year and feel very privileged and proud of my life at the moment.

New Year’s Resolutions

-          To get the girls room tidied, organised and pretty

-          To get good grades on the rest of my uni work

-          To blog at least once a week

-          To do a journal/scrapbook with my Fairy Princesses

-          To meditate once a week

-          To exercise for 15 minutes every day and an hour 3 times a week (and lose two stone in the process)

That all seems manageable – let’s see how many I break before next week!!   

Hope you all have a fabulous and successful 2012!

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Nearly there

I had a lovely phone call from the hospital today saying they are hoping to start the egg donation process at the begining of February!  So I had a little panic about how soon that sounded and then realised that I am probably ready for it now. 
At the end of January/begining of February I will come off the pill to sync up my cycle with the recipients and I will have to have a couple of scans and start the injections.  The injections are delivered to my house all pre loaded (a bit like epi-pens) and I just keep them in the fridge!
So it's all very exciting and thankfully far enough away from Christmas to have recovered (especially from the mince pies and cocolate).

Happy days

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

p.s. I know I've been really bad at blogging but getting in to the swing of studying again is taking longer than I thought - I will have it cracked bythe new year ... or not! :0)

Test Results

Last week I went back to Guys hospital to get back the results from the blood tests and swabs taken last time.
My sister was working and although she had offered to take the day off work to come with me I thought there was no need for her to use a day’s holiday and I wasn't worried about the results anyway... That is until I was on the train and started to think about it.

Thinking is one of my worse habits. I had a vague panic that if something was found I would be on my own and who could get to me quickest. I decided on my dad who could reach me from his work in about half an hour. This calmed down my irrational fear for about 10 minutes until I remembered he is on holiday about 10 hours plane flight away! DUH!

Of course the results came back fine. Obviously if my sis had been there I'd be able to remember everything I was tested for as she's the one with the memory. From what I can remember I was tested for a range of STI's among other things. And also for immunity to a respiratory infection which isn't normally a problem but is better if the donor and the person receiving the eggs (donee?) match in their immunity or non-immunity to it.

I also had to fill in a lot of forms (including consent forms, description of me forms and forms for the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority - HFEA). The HFEA forms were interesting as I had to say if I was willing to be approached to have my eggs used for experiments and if my eggs could be used for teaching purposes. I hadn't thought about anything further than giving my eggs to a couple and some of the questions sounded a little scary and I had visions of my eggs being used in any number of weird ways. The doctor explained that not all of my eggs will fertilise and these would otherwise be discarded and I would be approached before any experiments to see if I agreed (I suppose ethically and morally). She also explained that when the doctors are learning about how to do these processes they prefer to learn on eggs that aren't viable and therefore very precious - which is obviously very sensible.

The doctor was incredibly lovely and explained everything in clear (but not patronising) way. It was a really positive experience again. I can't imagine anyone in my situation feeling negatively about any of the adventures or people I've come across. When I think about it all it makes me feel all cosy and empowered at the same time!

However looking back over this entry I think I might have started making up words so I know it is time to sleep!

Sweet dreams

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Day 2 of New Plan

Yesterday and today seemed to go well in terms of eating except today someone had a birthday and brought in cake (but I did limit myself)
And then tonight my lovely hubbie brought me some of the chocolate I've been loving most recently:-


Yum yum!

Yum yum!!

And I was tired and had less will power but as I alwas say - 'It's good for the soul!'

I also did the aerobics session of Davina's Buff exercise DVD this evening - only about half an hour but felt good. 

So it's been a mixed start to what I am now calling the 'New Plan'.


Egg donation update:-
The lovely A from Altrui also rang to have a catch up today as she thought my appointment to get my test results back was this week (it was but I pushed it back to next week as half term is my apparently quiet time at work).  It was lovely to hear from her and also reminded me that my appointment is coming up.  I'm a little nervous about it which is odd.  I feel like I'm waiting for the results of an exam - I don't think you can pass or fail a blood test in the same way though - Can you?  :-)

Happy days

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

First Egg Donor Appointment

I went to Guys for my first egg donor appointment today and it was such a positive experience.

As my husband couldn't get time off work my lovely sister came with me to hold my hand and help remember family medical history.  I hadn't realised how close Guy's is to London Bridge station - very easy to find!  Rather than spending the morning shopping I managed to fit a work meeting in - beneficial to my wallet and makes me look organised!  I managed to get myself lost both too and from the office in Southwark - not an unsusual occurance for me and also me that ant I got to see lots of lovely streets that I would normally miss.

I had thought that I wasn't nervous but as soon as my lovely husband dropped me at the station I had a slight IBS attack and also asked the man at the desk to double check my train as I couldn't see it in any of the departments!!  Luckily he helped me get my act together and got me on the right train (thank goodness for friendly station staff!).
Doing some work in the morning and meeting my sis early kept my mind off my appointment until about lunch time when I started panicking that we were going to be late - luckily my sensible sis reminded me that we were 5 minutes walk away and still had an hour left before my appointment!!

Guy's is a lovely hospital and the Assissted Conception Unit (where the appointment was held) was really modern, clean and comfortable.  And the artwork was amazing (I would put a picture up but don't want to get sued - not sure about copyrighting and stuff).
First I was weighed and measured by the smiliest, sweetest nurse.  Then I was asked to sit in the most comfortable hospital chair EVER and rest my arm on a pillow.  Sensing what was about to happen my sis came and stood next to me and I squeezed her hand tightly - only for us to feel like complete plonkers as the nurse took my blood pressure and not my actual blood.
Then we met the doctors I will be seeing.  They were friendly, proffessional and approachable.  I felt completely at ease - not sure what I was nervous about at all.  The doctor went through the whole process with me and took the medical history she needed.  Next she gave me an internal scan and a swab.  She also talked through what would happen to any fertilised eggs that aren't used (frozen for future use with the couple and/or used for research)
THEN I had my blood taken.  I'm not great with needles but they used a different contraption which meant that I could barely feel when the tubes were changed - by far the 'nicest' bloods I've had taken.  And yes - the lovley sis took her rings off and let me squish her hand.
Finally - I had a counselling session - which was great cos I love talking!!  It was also good as I like that I still feel confident in my decisions.  The counsellor went through the law, how comfortable I felt about the process, why I was doing this, how my husband felt and also assured me that I could pull out at any time up until the eggs are implanted in the other lady.
It's nice to know that things are starting to happen although I know it is a few months befor the actual harvesting.  In the meantime I need to drop another BMI point before my next appointment in 6 weeks.  Now where did I put my trainers???

Photos from my big day out:

An old fashioned firestation and the first time I've seen a practice tower that wasn't on Fireman Sam!

Other interesting things I saw.

Even the toilets at Guy's had pretty doors!!



My wonderful, lovely Sis

Catching Up

My legs and arms have gone in to shock and have decided to stop working in protest at the exercise I did last night!  I finally had my induction session with a personal  trainer who came across as lovely but made me work like a mad thing – it obviously worked though.

Anyway I haven’t blogged for ages so lots has happened that you may or may not be interested in.

We went to Cornwall on holiday and it was lovely.  I felt like I was the only person in the whole world who hadn’t been and now I know why.  It was beautiful and I’d love to go back – no wonder everyone raves about it.

On a frustrating note – I had to miss what should have been my first appointment at Guys hospital for the egg donation.  I got sick with a throat virus while on holiday and was just too sick to make it.  I was desperate to go but eventually after a few tears my lovely husband persuaded me not to go and share my germs with others.  I am emotional at the best of times but horrendous when I feel sick so I cried quite a bit then calmed down and phoned the lovely A at Altrui who was so nice and sweet to me that I cried all over again!! (How dare she be so nice to people !)  So we have rearranged for a couple of weeks time.

While on Maternity leave, the baby FP and I completed an OU undergraduate module in Psychology.  I finally got the grade through and I got 73 (apparently the equivalent of a 2:1 or a B), so that was good.

I also have confirmation that I have a place on the Masters course I want to do and am, geekily,  incredibly excited about it even though it means I will probably not have a social life for the next three years!

And finally my eldest FP turned 4 this weekend so we had a lovely princess party!  Here is my Fairy Princesses.  Soon I will blog about the party properly, including party bags and decorations.  My very talented sister has also promised to explain how she made the beautiful birthday cake (I might even show you a picture!).

Happy days

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Another positive kick up the bum

I had the loveliest email today saying that Altrui have matched me with a couple and soon my appointments will start to be arranged!  It’s a strange emotion – very happy but also a quite nervous.  There was also the reassurance in the email that there is lots of support for me from the two lovely ladies I have already blogged about.  They make you feel like you are doing something really amazing which gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling.  It is a bit odd though because I don’t feel like a really good person for doing this or that it is a big deal.  I just feel very lucky to have wonderful fairy princesses and to have had such great parents (don’t tell them though – I don’t want them to get big headed). 

Any way – enough mushy stuff!  This email gave me extra incentive to lose more weight.  I only lost half a pound this week.  Anything is better than nothing but I really need to be losing 1 – 2 pounds a week so I am rethinking and reassessing my diet and exercise.  So starting Sunday (I know you’re not supposed to put things off but I have a wedding tomorrow and I don’t want to miss out on my glass of bubbly or the mini platter of desserts I know I’m having for pudding!!) I am going to attempt to follow this plan.  (There is a lot of exercise in there because I know I generally will miss one or two sessions a week.)

Sunday	Run on treadmill followed by Yoga class
Monday	Circuits class
Tuesday	Rest day
Wednesday	Run on treadmill
Thursday	Zumba
Friday	Run on treadmill
Saturday	Rest day (as restful as possible with 2 pickles around!)

That makes it sound like I’m a proper runner – I’m not! But would like to be so will be basing these runs on the Zest Running book for beginners – which is fab.  And diet wise I will probably be following Rosemary Conley’s GI diet.  I know she has updated it since writing it but I know it works for me.  I also will try to blog about my progress every day – apparently a good way to stay on track.

Happy days

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Photo Finish

I had some very exciting news yesterday!  I had to send off two lots of photos of me (a grown up one so the people at Altrui can physically match me with a couple and baby photos of me to give to the couple).  And very quickly after sending off the final photos I had an email saying they have a couple they want to match me with - so it sounds like it's all go!!

One thing I don't think I've mentioned is the obvious fact that this might not work.  A couple may get their hopes up and we could all go throught this process and there is a very definite chance that this may not work.  I do however try to ignore this and pootle along in blissful ignorance and assume that all will be well.  Nothing like a bit of positive thinking!

Happy days

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Why can't chocolate be slimming?

So part of my blog will now be about my weight loss journey.   Apparently it is good to share with EVERYONE that you are trying to lose weight and blogging about it can make you more successful!

So, in the interest of honesty, openness and sharing, here are my present stats:-

BMI	31	Waist	99cm
Weight	13 st 3.5 lb  (sorry I don’t quite understand my weight in kilos – and yes I know how old fashioned that sounds)	Hips	113.5cm
Dress size	16	Bra	40F

Not horrendous but enough to make me feel uncomfortable about myself.

In order to proceed on my egg donation journey I need to get my BMI down below 30 but would love to get it down to about 26.

Ideally I want to lose on average 7lb a month and I know that will be tough but it would get me to target by Valentines’ day which would be nice.  Actually I want to lose it all y tomorrow morning but as I am too scared (not to mention too skint) to undergo major surgery I suppose I will do it the old fashioned way = Move more! Eat less!

My first mini target was to get down to 12st 10lb before a wedding we are going to in 3 weeks! Well I don’t think that is going to happen but lets’ give it a go!?!

So to kick start my weight loss I am going to do the first week of Rosemary Conley’s diet and by next Wednesday I will have visited the gym 3 times.  I hope you have more faith in me than I do!!

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

First Steps

So, after I made the decision to donate my eggs I first had long conversation with the lovely lady from Altrui.
This is so that I she can find out more about me to match me with the right couple and to talk me through the process.
She let me ask silly and random questions and allayed any fears I might have.  Things like:-
Is there any chance someone will come knocking on my door in 20 years time demanding time/information/money? (well of course not -  the child will not be mine in any way either legally or morally). 
What happens if I have enabled a child to be born and that child is not treated well (even as I asked this I knew how unlikely it is - anyone who is willing to put themselves through such a stressful process in order to have a child desperately wants one and will treasure that child!).
Will the procedure hurt? (Apparently not very much - in and out in less than a day).
Will I be taught how to give myself the injections needed? (Of course - no doctor in their right mind would let a numpty like me loose with a needle without some kind of tutorial).
I was also concerned about the amount of time it will take up as I will probably have the procedure done at Guys in London and I am loath to spend too much time travelling there and back, especially as I'm working full time and have two little fairies I want to spend time with.  So, the lovely Altrui lady is trying to arrange for me to have most of my consultations at my local fertility clinic to reduce this time. 
And obviously I'm worried about the injections!  As someone who couldn't have an injection or any blood taken on my own until I was in my mid 20's this is the bit that scares me.  However it is a bit like an epi pen and apparently very easy to do on your own. (And won't I be proud of myself for doing it!)

So the next steps are to send off two photos of myself - 1 toddler photo of me for the couple I am paired with and one grown up photo so that Altrui can match me physically to a suitable couple.
Also I need to lose at least half a stone as my BMI needs to be under 30 to go ahead!! - Yet another good reason to get down the gym!  So this blog will also be about my weight loss efforts.

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

Why donate my eggs?

A couple of months ago I went to the Vitality show in London (great day out by the way) and met some lovely ladies from Altrui (http://www.altrui.co.uk/ or click on baby feet below) who were promoting egg donation.  It’s not something I had ever thought about before but something about it really resonated with me.  I am very aware how lucky I am to have my 2 fairy princesses – my husband and I adore them.  I also know some amazing parents who would never have had children if they had not had some form of fertility treatment or another.  These things together made me very interested.  The process appears very simple too.

When I came home I discussed it with my husband and tried to do a bit more research.  So, after a lot of thought I decided that this is something I would like to do and hubby is very supportive which is good as I couldn’t do it without him.  Weirdly the week I had made up my mind to call Altrui and tell them I had made a decision they rang me (no they are not psychic I had given my number to them at the Vitality show).  So the lovely Altrui lady arranged to call me later in the week when I wasn’t surrounded by little people demanding my attention!

Really quite exciting!!

Speak soon.

Fairy Princess Mummy
xx

First post - ever

Hello lovely people
Thank you for reading my first ever posting.
I have been thinking of some way to keep a journal or record of life for a while and it's probably about time I got a bit more up to date with technology.
So a little bit about me: -
I am married to a lovely, supportive man (who also does all the cooking!) and we have 2 gorgeous fairy princesses (hence the name of this blog - my eldest says I am not allowed to be a fairy queen cos I am a fairy princess mummy).
I enjoy learning all sorts of things - which is lucky as my fairies help me to learn all the time (normally the art of patience! heehee) and am hoping to start a masters at some stage.
I have become slightly addicted to reading other peoples crafty blogs and am attempting some easy makes, such as stuffed felt cakes.  Although I'm not sure those that designed the patterns would be that impressed by them - my 3 year old loves them and I will happily share photos of them with you! 
But the main reason I finally decided to begin this blog is to share with you a journey on which I am about to embark.  I finally made the decision to look further in to donating my eggs!  I know how lucky I am to have two wonderful children and if I can help someone else achieve that then that would be great.  When I started looking in to this I found very little information on it so hopefully my take on this will be helpful to others looking in to it!
So expect a blog full of fluffy, girly fun; links to other fabulous blogs and a warts and all look at parenting and being a donor.
I hope you'll join me again in a couple of days for my next post which will be a bit more about egg donation.
xxx